Choosing to love

 

There were moments I chose

Of joy and tears too close

to my heart, to share with you

Hoping it will ignite a few 

sparks of our old love

But it only drove

The stake further in my heart

I wish I never had from the start

Its an unbearable pain I bear with a smile 

Coz even if your heart has turned bile

My love was pure, & will always remain so

No matter what behaviour you show

I’ll hold on to something that was true

My love and care were genuine for you

You can stay as long as you want

A place in my heart I’ll forever grant

Sweet words of farewell are never enough

Through tears I pray to be rid of

The guilt of being a burden on you

The man who once loved me true

I am scared to let go you see

You were once so dear to me

I am worried if you’d feel alone

What if loneliness becomes your home

I’d rather not move on

Even if I am so torn

My happiness over yours

A selfish choice in due course

To abandon a promise made

Between our eyes, words unsaid

Does it still exist?

Does our love story have no twist?

Maybe no, the end is already here

I have blinded my eyes in fear

Your absence stings very badly

There’s naught I can do now, sadly

So I write once again

To let out my pain

Words soothe me quite so

Since a hug from you is a definite no

I thus find solace in sharing words

Hoping today you won’t cut chords

But one day you will again sway

To another woman coming your way

Till then would you care for me?

Or are you still not free?

“I’m busy”, your polite excuse

Hurt so much but you never understood

It’s alright dear, you don’t have to lie

I know it is time to say goodbye

What made me stay in this miserable state?

Love is punishing, I accepted this fate

Love turns us into pitiable fools 

No intelligence taught in schools

Can beat the whims of a loved one

The sincere of heart suffer a ton

That’s my fate indeed

“A man who’d love me is all I need”

-those dreams have shattered long ago

My happily ever after I choose to forego….

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