Once Upon A Time



Once upon a time there lived a princess. She was the most ugly and stupid lady ever born in this world. But as you can guess she was the luckiest (as is obvious, not everyone is born a princess).Well, what is more important is the fact that she had an amazing ability. She could make anybody within a distance of one metre from her as stupid as herself! So you see the poor princess no matter how rich and worthy of a suitor could never find one!

Now what use is a princess who is never to marry? Even I, as the narrator have no use of her for I can’t continue the love story without a heroine! So, there is this new twist to the princess’s life. Ah! The new twist is I forgot to mention that she was bewitched! An evil sorceress (let’s assume it is someone like Bellatrix from the Harry Potter series) had put a curse on her. So what’s the curse, you must be curious. But sorry dear, you need to be more patient…it’ll be revealed at the end of the story as is customary.

Now where were we? Hm…the princess...so she was hexed with her ugliness and stupidity by this witch. (Oops! Did I just reveal the curse?!! I am getting awfully forgetful! Curse me!). If the jinx could be undone she would become beautiful and intelligent, her fairy godmother told the king. Even her amazing ability would transform, reversing the stupidity to intelligence! But of course this solution to her problem was only discovered after she reached marriageable age. I wonder why the fairy godmother never opened her mouth when the princess was an ugly and stupid child…could have saved her from a lot of humiliation to begin with! But let’s not question the fairy godmother’s decisions lest we should invoke her wrath. She can become very angry sometimes.

The king’s oval table knights were sent in search for the witch Bellatrix. Into the hideous and formidable Southern forest the brave soldiers galloped towards their destination- the Great Black Cave-the rumored abode of the accursed immortal. Finally after days and nights of braving the, mosquito-filled no pure mineral water to drink, dangers in the forest they found the cave. The bravest of the bravest knights, Theodorendar Francissco uttered the famous Indian spell-
“Khulja Sim Sim” (translation-“open sim sim”- er..I don’t know what that “sim sim” stands for)
And the entrance to the cave tore open in a loud thunder…

Bright colorful lights blinded their eyes for a moment. The screeches of the bats sent a shudder down the spines of the brave men. But Theo was not to be scared so easily!(His inspiration was Fred and Scooby Doo you see!! )Using his shield to block the light and shoo the bats he stepped foot into the cave. The knights had no choice but to follow. Soon they came across a fork in the cave. Theo decided to take the right fork alone and instructed the others to inspect the other.

As he went further and further deep into the cave, a strong enchanting fragrance engulfed him. Fearing some kind of charm Theo held his breath. Unmindful of the way his face was swelling up like red tomato, he kept on walking. But suddenly he halted and almost let out a yelp. What lay in front of him was hardly what he had imagined!! For there before him was the most beautiful maiden he had ever seen! One glance and he could tell she was no witch! As he gasped open mouthed the lady spoke,

“Who are you Mr.? What are you doing in my lab??”

Well you see, the lady was Dr. Carlene a scientist (recently successful in developing the time machine and also successful in carrying herself back to the princess’s time) and the strong fragrance was only her deodorant (she preferred a strong one).

Anyway since her scientific ventures were mistaken for witchcraft the princess’s curse was proved to be a false rumor. She was just born ugly and stupid. The fairy godmother was a fake like any other phony fortune tellers of our time. The princess married one of her own stupid cousins. As for Theo and Dr. Carlene, they married and lived happily ever after.


Moral of the story-
1.) Not all princesses are born beautiful and not all women who are intelligent enough to hypothetically invent the time machine are ugly!
2.) The princess is not always the heroine of the story.
3.) Last and most important-always consult others before reading any of my nonsensical stories. Time is precious friends, don’t waste it!!!! :p :p ;)

Comments

  1. Amazing blog and very interesting stuff you got here! I definitely learned a lot from reading through some of your earlier posts as well and decided to drop a comment on this one!

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